Why You Don't Need To Be The Perfect Mum

Associated Post 

It can often feel like we are not as organised or together as other parents,  especially if we go off others social media, the ones who appear to have it all going for them, doing everything right, the ones with the perfect cupcakes for bake sales, always on time for school run, well-behaved immaculately dressed children, have a spotless home and while there is nothing wrong with any of this I'm just none of those things and that's okay. When first had my kids I felt so pressured to be perfect that I quickly burnt out and often life is never what it seems so I thought I would share why it's important to not feel you have to be the perfect parent.

#1: There is no such thing as perfect

Oh sure, those other parents might appear perfect, but do you really know what goes on in their family lives? This is why social media often needs to be taken with a pinch of salt as we tend to post our best versions of ourselves. They might have just as many problems as you do when trying to get their children dressed in the morning or when trying to deal with their children's challenging behaviour. Some people are just better at putting on a front, when in fact, they are probably as tired and as stressed as you sometimes are which is why it's often good to talk and get to know someone before rushing to a conclusion about them. Also building up a good support network can be really useful.

#2. You can only live your life

On a daily basis, we are sold the "perfect ideal" of family life, through TV ads, social media and even product packing often show happy families running through flower fields without a car in the world. In reality, we don't all live that kind of life, while I do get outdoors every moment I can with my kids, my home is often a mess and I'm often running late or in a rush simply down to not being able to multiple myself and be on the ball as much as others (although I do really try). The thing is one size does not fit all when it comes to parenting and being the perfect parent to your kids and not what society expects is all you need to do, no matter how that looks.

#3: You will lose sight of your other relationships

In an effort to be the perfect parent, you might miss out on time with your family or friends. Instead, you might spend much of your time taking your kids to and from every activity they show an interest in. You might spend all of your time trying to entertain them when they're at home. Your free time might be taken up with PTA meetings and other school-related activities. And as a consequence, you might lose sight of the relationships you have with the other people in your life.

So, no matter how much you love your children, remember the other people who love you. Don't run the risk of your marriage growing cold by neglecting time with your partner. Spend quality time with him and reignite the flames of romance, as the last thing you want to happen is to grow distant and call on the aid of family law solicitors. And don't forget your friends, as you will grow apart if you don't spend time with them. Your children won't resent you if you're not always at their beck and call, so call in the childminder occasionally to give yourself time with others.

#4: You will burn yourself out

The constant strive to be the perfect mum is only going to cause you stress and anxiety. It might even lead to exhaustion and burn out. So, if you are relating to this, perhaps it's time to take some perspective. It's important for you to realise that you will make mistakes. You will say and do things you sometimes regret. You will face difficult situations with your children. And they might never be the perfect angels you want them to be either.

When you come to terms with these things, you might chill out more. You will feel less guilty about the times you screw up, and you will care less about the attitudes of those apparently perfect mums at the school gates. Perfection is a myth, so don't strive for it. Be the best that you can be, and both you and your children will benefit as a result!