When it comes to having children, there is never an exact ideal age gap between siblings, some may want them close together, others may opt for a larger gap so they are not raising a newborn & toddler together. The idea of raising a toddler and a newborn together can be challenging but rewarding for parents and you may find yourself struggling between feeding timelines, diaper changes, sibling rivalries, and tantrums. Sleepless nights and daily chores make life hard, and things can be even tougher for working moms.
Staying sane amidst the constant demands requires a blend of practical strategies, emotional awareness, and self-care. In this article, we will share a few tips to help parents navigate this difficult phase successfully.
Create a Consistent Routine
If you want to maintain sanity, find a way to establish a consistent routine that gently integrates both children’s schedules. Of course, a newborn must be fed, bathed, cleaned, and put to sleep according to a schedule. However, don’t undermine the need for a routine for toddlers. According to Parents.com, kids at this age tend to feel cranky, overwhelmed, and unsettled.
Predictability keeps them comfortable, so ensure that you have a familiar daily pattern. This is even more crucial when family dynamics change after a baby arrives. Try to preserve the toddler’s regular meal times, naps, and bedtime as much as possible. This will limit the upheaval and help the toddler adapt more smoothly to the new addition.
For example, you must keep the toddler’s favourite activities and caregiving rituals intact while adjusting newborn care around them. A consistent routine will enable you to anticipate needs and reduce stress caused by unpredictability.
Plan Dedicated Time for Both Kids
Both children require quality attention from parents to feel valued and secure. You need to carve out moments for individual time with the toddler and the newborn. It is easy to feel preoccupied with newborn care, considering their needs. However, neglecting the older child can cause serious problems down the line.
Toddlers often feel jealous or displaced by the new baby and may act out. You can address this challenge by spending one-on-one time with the toddler, engaging in activities they enjoy. This will reinforce their sense of importance and security despite the new sibling.
When focusing on the newborn, seek help from partners or family members to engage the toddler with safe play or cuddles. Including the toddler in caregiving tasks for the baby, such as handing diapers or gently stroking the baby, can create a bond and curb jealousy.
Get Your Share of Self-Care
Parental well-being often takes a back seat when managing the demands of raising both a toddler and a newborn. Sleep deprivation, in particular, can have adverse consequences for moms during the postpartum phase. According to the Sleep Foundation, lack of sleep can affect your health, mood, safety, and even longevity. You may experience stress, anxiety, or depression.
Getting adequate sleep should be a priority when it comes to self-care. This may mean moving to formula feeding at night so that your partner can take over the duty while you sleep with the older child. When using a formula, be sure to avoid cow-milk-based brands. The recent Similac and Enfamil lawsuit claims have raised concerns regarding the safety of these products.
TorHoerman Law notes that many parents have filed lawsuits to seek justice for newborns suffering from necrotising enterocolitis caused by these formulas. The last thing you want to handle is a sick baby and a cranky toddler. Making wise decisions can help you regain control while ensuring the good health of your kids.
Carving out time for self-care, even in short bursts, replenishes energy and emotional reserves. Besides regular naps, prioritise meals calmly, brief moments of meditation, or engaging in a favourite hobby. Accept help from others and steer clear of overcommitment to avoid burnout. You don’t have to be perfect, and neither do you need to feel guilty for looking after yourself.
Acknowledge Your Toddler’s Feelings
Toddlers experience a wide range of emotions during the transition to having a new sibling. According to Raising Children Network, they may feel excited, but left out at the same time. Parents need to do their bit to help toddlers get through this phase and feel positive about the new baby.
Expect your child to experience negative emotions such as confusion, jealousy, and sadness because these are normal. Acknowledging and validating these feelings rather than dismissing them helps toddlers process their emotions healthily. Talk to them about their feelings, use play or art to help them express emotions, and provide reassurance that they are loved as before.
Tantrums may still happen, so be patient and calm when handling them. Managing regressive behaviours with the right approach fosters emotional security in young children. Positive reinforcement for gentle behaviour and involvement in caring for the little one encourages connection and reduces acting out.
Toddlers experience a wide range of emotions during the transition to having a new sibling. According to Raising Children Network, they may feel excited, but left out at the same time. Parents need to do their bit to help toddlers get through this phase and feel positive about the new baby.
Expect your child to experience negative emotions such as confusion, jealousy, and sadness because these are normal. Acknowledging and validating these feelings rather than dismissing them helps toddlers process their emotions healthily. Talk to them about their feelings, use play or art to help them express emotions, and provide reassurance that they are loved as before.
Tantrums may still happen, so be patient and calm when handling them. Managing regressive behaviours with the right approach fosters emotional security in young children. Positive reinforcement for gentle behaviour and involvement in caring for the little one encourages connection and reduces acting out.
FAQs
How long does it take a toddler to adjust to a new baby?
Adjustment times vary, but toddlers usually begin to adapt within several weeks to a few months after the baby arrives. Parents can adopt consistent routines and positive attention to speed the process. Some behaviours, such as acting younger or occasional tantrums, may last up to a year as toddlers work through their feelings.
How to get a toddler to be gentle with a baby?
Parents must model gentle behaviour by showing their toddler how to touch softly and move slowly. Use simple, clear language like “gentle, like this” and praise the toddler when they are careful. Allow young kids to interact with safe, less fragile items as practice before handling the baby. Be patient and consistent as they learn, and stay around to ensure safety.
What is the hardest age gap between siblings?
Experienced parents believe that very close age gaps (less than 18 months) can be the most challenging due to increased demands and stress. However, smaller gaps may also result in closer sibling bonds. Larger gaps might reduce conflict, but can introduce different challenges in relationships and parental stress.
Having a toddler and a baby to look after at the same time is not a mean feat for parents. However, it is possible to stay grounded and enjoy the unique joys of the experience with mental preparation and the right approach. Think of it as a special opportunity to cultivate family bonds and build resilience, and you will love the journey all the way.
